The Mystery of Tatooine

There’s just one thing you want to do when you’re on Tatooine

That’s leave it, behind, as soon as possible.

There’s nothing much to see, and no one you care to know.

The dusty-scape burns the eyelids and the metal homes bake.

‘Get me a ship’ you cry, you ache; ‘I’ll even let a punky 12 year old,

Abandon his mother like a slave and Ben Hur a pointless race,

So I can get away from here!’

The only question is: why do we have to keep returning in all the movies?

There was truly, nothing more that could top the last thing worthy of sight.

Rey, in the new movies, show-boated her feminine superiority.

On Tatooine she was the coolest, and that just grew. She was the best pilot, too.

She had the force, of course, stronger than, well… anyone ever.

In fact, she didn’t need anyone else to get the job done. A few weak men could

Tag-along, if they liked, because she’s giving that way.

But back to Tatooine and the last thing to see there.

If you have a chance, and you’re stopping by the worst destination in space.

Take a look at Princess Leia, the true depiction of powerful womanhood.

Her brother is slashing the bad guys to bits outside, and the wookie is roaring.

Lando Calrissian pulls off the mask and Han got his eyesight back.

Bye bye, Boba Fett.

Meanwhile, inside, tiny five foot Leia, having nothing better to do,

Looks around.

She doesn’t have a blaster. She hasn’t connected to the force.

There’s no weapon in sight except for the chain-link leash around her neck.

So quietly, and on her own, she takes down Jabba the Hutt.

Then, having good sense, she grabs up the droids, the wookie, all the hot guys,

And leaves Tatooine behind.